Recent Tweets

• Nov 19, 2024, 11:42 PM

  [puts clothes on backwards, embarrassing children] now that’s what I call a “bomb cyclone, [carried off by sudden gust of wind]

• Nov 19, 2024, 12:12 AM(3 mentions)

  Nerds can have a little Butlerian Jihad, as a treat

• Nov 17, 2024, 10:00 PM(4 mentions)

  Trader Joe’s Elote Corn Chip Dippers should be rebranded Spicy Cool Ranch Fritos, and I mean that in the best conceivable way

• Nov 14, 2024, 7:37 AM(3 mentions)

  Not all the news is bad. https://apnews.com/article/onion-buys-infowars-alex-jones-6496f198d141c991087dcd937b3588e9

• Nov 8, 2024, 12:27 PM(2 mentions)

  Drink water. Take your meds. Exercise. We’re going to need you.

• ...or, browse the full archive of my tweets.